Tue, Aug 26 2008 05:29

Mon, Aug 25 2008 05:09

Thu, Aug 21 2008 10:05

Sun, Aug 17 2008 08:40

Thu, Aug 14 2008 06:27

Needing a ride to pick up a prescription, I called my brother from another mother, Miron, to give me a lift. Although we were born about 8,000 miles apart, Miron has my back all the time. While expertly weaving in dense Atlanta traffic at rush hour, and with a concerned look on his face, Miron turned to me and said “Dude, no offense, but people who have had a near-death experience seem to have a different way of looking at life. You don't care about certain things anymore, right?” he asked. Wishing to oblige him with a reply worthy of his question, I replied “ Well, I am glad to be alive, that's for sure. Everyday is like a bonus and I always find ways to be grateful, the clouds are miracles, even the asphalt is a miracle. I really don't have any need for a title or ownership of one and what I once thought valuable and impressive doesn't mean anything to me anymore. What's important is the treasure we have in friends and loved ones. People who like you the same whether you are up or down, or if you dress badly- it doesn't matter, they like you regardless.”

Not sure if Miron understood my comment about the asphalt being a miracle, but the conversation lead me to think about why life is different after a close call. Truly, there are things that just don't matter anymore. If it isn't based in love or sincerity from the heart, it is superficial and meant to please the ego. Family, friends and loved ones have a direct channel to each other and operate on the same frequency. We treat one another as we like to be treated and don't have anything to prove or one up each other. We connect on a level that is at ease and free of conflict and resistance. There is always a space for them within ourselves, we are always present for them and enjoy listening to them as much as talking with them. We accept each other for who we are unconditionally. We treat each other the same year after year and genuinely care about the other as we care about ourselves. This is our treasure on earth. Gotta say thanks to my buddy for giving me this connecting perspective. If you have an opinion about friends and our true treasure, please share it in the comment section.

Have a great weekend!

Sun, Aug 10 2008 07:09

More gray creeping in at the sides and more width in the middle, more to do and less time to do it with. The sun's coming round to come up behind you again. There's no fighting it- you are losing your race with time. Your creative bursts are a little bit further apart but still potent, it's just that you can never seem to get enough rest to get fully powered. The kids are into more things, your older parents need you more now than ever.

Pretty soon, you'll be the oldest guy/gal at the club, the old guard. What will you do with this new reality? Does wisdom and life experience in creative pursuits 'fill in' where less physical energy is present? Please take a moment and answer this question about aging and creativity.

Mon, Aug 4 2008 06:20

If you are planning on becoming a musician worth the cover charge or download price, it is fairly important to be able to tell the other instruments from yours in a mix. What is the role of the rhythm instruments? What is the connection of the harmony and melody? For folks with whom you want to experience your music on a personal and long term level, knowing more about the ingredients is the best way to satisfy them and have them return for more.

In my own mountain climbing journey in comprehending patterns and frequency I was met by a music sherpa by the name of Mr. John Trygar. JT is remarkable in the fact that he is tuned to his world of music in a way that he can share anything you need to know to anyone of any music experience without being pedantic, insincere or talking down to you. He was just enthusiastic and passionate to share what he had learned over the years as a working musician, business owner and aficionado. As a young cat bitten by the electronic music bug, I really wasn't aware of all the other faces of the mountain assent that included jazz, early blues and historic R&B artists and their great music. JT provided me with a world class education on the basics of melody, harmony and especially the role of each instrument in a recording that means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. JT facilitated his lessons based on a ginormous collection of vinyl records that covered almost everything that was worth listening to in the last 100 years. From arcane recordings to collections that followed one musician through a progression of recordings and different groups.

Freely giving his time each evening after closing his music store, he tirelessly prepared listening exercises that tuned an ear to one specific set of frequencies generated by a single instrument. Once I could hear what the bass and bass drum were doing, we went up the frequency range to understand the relational values of tonal ranges and colors that made a saxophone different from a violin, the human voice from a harmonica, the tom toms from a conga and so on. Even after taking professional courses in audio engineering, nothing beat JT's easy going way of hearing and listening which broadened my understanding and enriched my musical life. Jt was able to bring the theory and the music to life in a way that the audio engineer could not. Their approach was a sterile, laboratory produced set of logic circumstantial evidence of why frequencies oscillated. JT shared why these tones made us feel the music deeply and passionately. JT gave me the reason for becoming a musician, the school gave me a reason not to be an engineer.

Bringing music to life as a dimensional and spiritual essence is no easy task, yet JT could relate that kind of abstract in his blue collar, laid back manner. His humble yet powerful was of relating the how and why of frequencies and feeling, sine waves and soul, headroom and humor made it one of the great joys of my life.

JT is still just as passionate today as he was those many years ago which tells me that he is and was always rooted in his love- that's just who he is. Hats off JT for all you have done for me. Each time I appreciate a new piece of music or a new musician or group, I have one person to thank. I hope I can freely give someone else this kind of gift and pass it on.

Sun, Aug 3 2008 01:50

Making yourself more creative is a process that involves inspiration, passion and an openness for trying new things. My friend Hooks used to always do the 'adventurous' run. On the way back from our weekly jam sessions he would give me a lift back home and drop me and my keyboard gear off safe and sound. For no known reason and somewhat randomly each time, Hooks would go off road on this goat path of a road, just to see if he could do it. This roller coaster twisted, car width-only wide trail is a testament to his creative personality. He just went for it and was damn good at navigating the road which I couldn't even see at that time of morning. He always was adventurous to try new ways to play, pick up new musical skills, try different instruments and push the limits.

This type of adventurousness gave form to a communal creativity that pushed all of us to find our best musicality and give it freely-stirring it into the pot and removing our attachments. We learned that giving and not owning the phrases and bursts of creative energy served all of us better. It wasn't just my riff or my lead or my fill that was the star in the tune, but our musical egos receded to the point of what music is designed to be-harmony. Instead of going in and fighting to be heard above the other instruments, we played less and quieter so that the entire mix was audible and made for a good experience.

All of this would not have been possible if each of us had not been creatively adventurous and unafraid to drive that narrow twisting road in the dead of night, ready for the sudden descent that came out of nowhere. But like the road, it lead to the main street which lead to the neighborhood which led to the house, a light snack and some much needed sleep. Had we stayed on the main common road there isn't a chance we could have found the adventure we did in creating our music.

Tue, Jul 29 2008 04:08

She was always consistently kind in a non-patronizing, heartfelt way. To a group of scraggly young musicians calling each week for her son, she was the message giver, the one who coordinated the communication for our gatherings and jam sessions. She never judged us on our less than wholesome appearances and sometimes radical outlooks. She knew that someday, the men would emerge from these youthful passions and become the persons most needed by the universe.

The consistency of her kindness and good nature was all the more profound do to the backdrop of her continual overcoming of a chronic illness. The sunshine came through and there was never a mention of this daily battle in any conversation I can recall. Her focus was on life, her family and her purpose. As a retired professional, she always carried that ordered, clean aesthetic into her life and bearing and showed this ratty looking keyboard player an example of maturity, nobility and caring without any lectures or ego. She just was this great example and I immediately respected that about her. She endured so much physical discomfort, but none of it shone in her talks with us. If I didn't find out from her son, my friend, I would never have known as her love for life and cheerfulness outshone any of the underlying issues. She prayed for me when I was hit with head and neck cancer. The amazing thing is, she didn't have to do any of this, but she did.

With her passing Monday, I celebrate her life and what she stood for. My love and prayers are with the family and I will always carry her wonderful presence and memory with me. It is people like this that makes life show what true living, love and motherhood is all about.

Mon, Jul 28 2008 05:21

Trying to get too many things done or too many things coming at you simultaneously can create a lot of stress. The mind naturally tries to organize all the new data and stimuli flying at it and does so remarkably well up to a point. At some juncture there is an overwhelming amount of things to do in a very short amount of time with limited resources. What we get is a stress load of epic proportions. All this does is take you away from your internal language and off your path. Or does it? Can you really lose your 'self' in times of stress and anxiety? Will your workload spilling off your desk and out of your cubicle really erase your true purpose?

In both corporate and private business I have seen folks on opposite ends of the spectrum. There are those who thrive on stress and those who buckle and are crushed by it. That's the way we human beings are, very limited and limitless. The people less affected by stress have come to an inner strength that fortifies them and those who cave have not yet found it in the measure they require.

To answer the question “Can you really lose your 'self' in times of stress and anxiety?” I would say, depending n what that stressor is determines the outcome. Read ~ wild tiger pouncing on you or spilling coffee all over your report the boss wants in 2 minutes is all relative, one will likely kill you and other will not. It is my belief that if the 'self' is part of the conscious awareness and rooted in life (not fear or worry), that you can never really lose it. If you operate solely with the external as the only reality, life is more like suffering than living. You are just pushing the river. Nothing you do will ever be good enough and you never have enough or are not worthy enough to have it. Happiness will be in some future time and not in this moment. You wait for some future timeframe for life to be better. If your self' is aware and conscious (not just thinking or believing you are conscious) then the present moment is where your root is, where your being can observe circumstances in the present moment occurring objectively. Root Natty root. Everyone has their own internal and external approach to life's stress. It can, for some of us, be an unconventional path to enlightening our journey.

I love the reply from artist CarolC of Compasswebworks posted to the Psiplex post “A Language Alien to Yours” aticle below: “So what is a creative to do....well compromise of course!! Work the left brain to put food on the table, and squeeze as much right brain time in to satisfy your creative urges, your passion. Voila!”

Amen CarolC!

Thu, Jul 24 2008 08:46

Performing tasks outside of your natural path, talent or skill range can prove to be quite uncomfortable. For example, working as a freelance graphic designer full time before my battle with cancer, I had a variety of fun and not so fun projects. There were great clients and there were the inverse bunch of folks with whom I parted company as fast and as cleanly as possible. You can tell when you are involved at your highest level of awareness. Your mind fires off creative sparks that completely solve the problem in an elegant, creative fashion that is virtually no effort at all. The window of the creative universe opens and in comes the rainbow of ideas, art and life connection that makes the project soar. At his high level of doing, all hurdles are removed to the goal, like in the first Matrix movie, you realize, 'there is no spoon' and you are communicating in a new language.

Conversely, when a project arose that involved above average conflict, misdirection, misinformation, ego, conflict and confusion, it was as if the project was speaking in an alien language. Creativity was blocked or shoved in a corner, fear of this or that outcome from the client's overlords threatened each advance and the entire project went into slow motion against a backdrop of a hard deadline. Not fun. We humans tend to believe that a rigid set of structures and rules are necessary for achieving these hard deadlines and that an aggressive approach will get the job done. It's like the project managers are on some bizarre personal jihad to get their impossible deadline while the fiery whips of their bosses lash them for more speed.

As any creative can tell you, this is not the recipe for success. What I have found in creating graphics and electronic music, writing poetry and creating anything in general is that the best language is your internal language. When you connect and release possibilities to the great creative spark that is life and our universe, many good and unexpectedly good things happen. Whenever an opportunity arises for creativity, I find that it is a natural process. I get excited and desire to create something from just brushing against the idea of creating something. The process of letting it form is the joy and the end result ain't too bad either!

The journey and path to your purpose in creating is one of joy and discovery. All you have to do is want to play, kind of like when you were a kid. Become a kid again and enjoy playing with no boundaries, no rules and no limits. You can hone the raw material of this process to fit the requirements of your creative project, but always keep it in your own voice, your own language of the creative.

Let me know what your experiences are in your creative journey!

One Love

Wed, Jul 23 2008 05:10

My last checkup at the ENT revealed that one of the effects of the cancer treatment has been that I am now anemic. What it means in real life is that there are certain characteristics of anemia that have to be dealt with on a daily basis. Anemia, simply is that the number of red blood cells is reduced to the point where an iron deficiency takes place. The resulting effect is a series of symptoms that can interfere with your day from manageable to crazy. A good ten step check is from eHow and is titled 'How to Know if You Are Anemic”

The tough part for me is that with the hemiglossectomy, regular food is out. Anemia can be managed well with a careful diet full of iron rich foods. At this point, I still use the PEG tube for about 98% of my nutrition. What I have been doing is adding a liquid iron supplement to fortify the nutrition enabling the management of the anemia. The more I heal up, the more nutrition I will be able to take by mouth and start picking up weight and strength. Looking forward to picking up some energy and doing some more music.

In the meantime, I have a link from my SoundCloud music post called Sun Halo which is an edgy minimal, glitchy summer sun jam. You can hear Sun Halo by clicking the play button. Would love to hear other electronic music from others! Leave a comment and enjoy!

Mon, Jul 21 2008 03:57

There is a new mobile version of Psiplex for handhelds which is handy if you are on the go and want to catch up with the latest Psiplex posts. You can get a mobile account for your own blog at MoFuse for free. MoFuse is offering their former paid version for free! It took me about 8 minutes to setup (mileage may vary) and is a neat way to experiment with getting your blog to mobile devices. The 8th comment to this post will receive a free design GIF header 200 pixels wide x 30 pixels tall for their free Mofuse mobile account. The header is a lightweight 4-6 kb which goes on your mobile web page. This may help folks who want a nice eye-catching, easy to read header. I'll just need the title you want and font style you want along with your preferred colors. As you can see from mine, there isn't a lot of space for a busy logo or pics, but a good, solid, readable font will do wonders on a complimentary, high contrast background. The GIF will be e-mailed to you so please provide a working email address that is not full or has a voracious spam filter. I don't send out e-mails or newsletters, so you don't have to worry about getting spam jammed — not interested in sharing your email with anyone, just want to show some love.

On the fun and creative side, Ars Technica has an article about the new Apple iPhone 3G app that is a virtual band from Moo Cow Music. Better than playing a mindless game while you're waiting at the airport or on the metro, composing music is fun and you can show off your new jams to your friends. Who knows, you could become an iTunes star!

Discovered NPR has a music section worth checking out called Music Interviews and Profiles which has some lesser known but excellent interviews with artists other than mainstream and top 10. Their World Cafe is also worthy of attention. Lots of good unexpected morsels to explore.

Sat, Jul 19 2008 04:31

Watching a documentary style program on travel to Jamaica, I was struck by one of the segments of the program dealing with one the island's most popular exports. The interviewer was questioning a prominent living, former world renowned music legend (non-Marley) about his current lifestyle, past successes and beliefs. The former legend responded that he had found a new career in helping his people in Jamaica to understand their history and to embrace the endemic belief system that had now become his focus and passion. I followed his career for awhile in the early 1980's, as he was a dynamic voice in the growing world music and hip-hop communities, he just was never a top artist in my book. I was with him until he explained that this particular brand of worship was 'set aside' for a very specific group of people.

I was stumped at how any belief system that would help one to see truth and a life and power beyond this world would be 'set aside' for only a specific set of circumstances. Perhaps I had not encountered this aspect beforehand about a religion that supposedly embraces all, but I was amazed at how it struck me. It certainly caused me to reflect on the fact that when we set up a belief system, we fill it with all our good as well as bad. I contend that being connected to infinite love and peace is for all of us and not a set of methodologies that fool us into believing we are eternal. Battling cancer, I have found that it is so very important to discover where you are with life. Equally important, it is good to find out sooner or later what and where your path is. It is also is a relief to know that a lot of ambiguities and conflicting dialogue are a part of daily life. We all are trying to get to a state of love and learning. Some of this process is getting it right and getting it wrong with life happening in between. Partitioning love is not possible. You either have love in you or you don't.

Wed, Jul 16 2008 04:37

It is surprising to realize how much our thoughts toward people, events and ourselves create our reality. It is also surprising to think that we can have such monumental change in our lives by realizing how we think about ourselves which returns to us experientially in everyday life. The constant state of impermanence and change makes endeavors a moving target. Acceptance of this concept makes it easier to understand why things are or are not.

Recognition of impermanence and all of what we know of life passing into different states then passing makes some people artists and some madmen. Against this backdrop we formulate a mental image of ideals and perceptions that become us, others and the world. We think ourselves into being by internalizing the world around us. This is done by pulling in influences that build our self amidst a biological and chemical foundation that injects traits and behaviors from ancestors we may not know. Chance and probability combine with the verities of physics to produce the artist's or the madman's reality and behavior. Then, it just is. Deductive, fact-based scientific fact and a nodding heroin delusion exist proportionally in real time and carry the weight of reality to each experiencer. How we conduct our thoughts determines our reality and becomes the behavior we project into the world. This is the self that has your birth certificate and face along with your conceptualized personality.

What are you making up about yourself? How does this view of yourself reflect in others? How you think people think you are is a part of your self identity as much as you thinking how you will 'be'. Wether a perspective is quantitative or spiritually intuitive, it all outputs as a type of image that is our self for ourself and others. The personal importance of these factors is manifested and displayed in our interactions with the world and on the big screen of our minds. Off the big screen, are you really the person playing the roles on its endless loop of thoughts and emotions? Is there more than the definition you and others have given that face in the mirror you call 'me'? We unfold or are folded up by the blocks we can't seem to get past. We soar when we glide past blocks to the peaks of our ability.

Tue, Jul 15 2008 11:37

People tell me stories
I am not interested
Large crowds mobilize in frenzies
I want to be alone
Driving on the freeway
Makes me tired and driving
vibrating nonstop texting
is incessant like noise
Like noise is an argument
I am out of my garden
Back through noise to
my attention-less non-being
being not ~ being better
quiet again, breathing again
in my garden

Mon, Jul 14 2008 07:45

There is an article posted Monday at RealitySandwich from Sam Michael called Kung Fu: Preparation for Armageddon which is a really thoughtful. I Liked the direction of the post. His quote of Dostoyevsky's "Suffering is the origin of consciousness." is interesting for the article.

I'm believing consciousness allows suffering to impact consciousness rather than suffering being a creator of consciousness. Consciousness reflects stillness, presence and peace as well as external events that involve thought and the outward manifestation of life as in the physical world. There may be the thought that suffering is an origin, but consciousness had to be in existence to even recognize suffering. My 2 cents, yo.

I welcome your comments!

Sun, Jul 13 2008 04:03

CarolC of Compass Webworks has a beautiful piece called Delatta she composed in Compass Webworks Fresh Flash Friday (FFF) inspired by Ching Theory.

Based in Ontario, Canada, Carol brings a wonderful insight and adventurousness to her blog which is an exploration of art and all things creative. It is fresh, natural and original in ways that make me smile and marvel at the power of art and an inspired artist. I strongly urge visiting Compass Webworks to get a serving of your own inspiration and rich flavor of creativity and art. Carol's Gallery is a great way to get a feel for her artistry.

I am deeply honored and grateful that Carol would be so kind as to hear the track and be engaged by the creative spark to produce Delatta. I am smiling so hard my face hurts!

Fri, Jul 11 2008 03:10

The main focus this week has been on pain management and will continue to be so for the next several weeks. Visited the ENT specialist for my one week checkup. Still pretty ugly in there but I am where I should be for this stage of healing. I heard a couple of cause of concerns on the path report but it is too early to tell the difference between what might be and what is based on the swelling and prior neck surgery. I will have to go in for regular checkups to keep an a close watch on any developments of tongue cancer re-growth which is 10 kinds of nasty.

The pain medication I am using a combination of a pain killer and Tylenol to reduce inflammation and swelling. I take this through my PEG tube about every 4 hours and it is definitely helping. I just don't want to depend on it for too long. The last thing I want is a drug addiction. Managing the pain means getting better nutrition which will promote healing. Also planning on resuming a gentle bit of walking early in the mornings to improve circulation and prevent muscle loss. The morning walks are a good time to meditate on life and its purpose. Time to get back in the saddle!

Have a great weekend!

Tue, Jul 8 2008 03:11

A bit wobbly and weak this morning, but on the slow road to recovery. The swelling on my ankles has subsided and the general anesthesia-induced lethargy is dissolving. The after effects of most of Thursday's surgery is subsiding and a somewhat normal thought process is coming round. Many thanks to all my family, friends, associates and supporters for your kind words of encouragement!

With cancer diagnosis and treatment, everything is speed. The rapidity of cancer cell growth is wicked fast. The best hope is a fast track to your doctor, oral surgeon, ENT or regular physical to monitor any changes in your body. You have to be on alert for changes but not in a state of constant suspicion or panic - use common sense. For head and neck cancer, being aware of changes to your tongue, tonsils, neck, lymph nodes, nasal passages, eye area and skin is critical. Speed in determining the prognosis and treatment cycle often means the probability in successfully beating cancer.
There are many resources available, some of the few of which are:

Caring4Cancer

Cancer Compass Information

The Cancer Compass Message Boards - where you can find out about various cancer

The American Cancer Society - You can find out about community resources and more

A great article on combining radiation and surgery for head and neck cancer patients

A man by the name of Brian Ankner is fighting tongue cancer and has a blog with photos available at

Send along your comments suggestions and stories via the comments section (click on the text link 'comments' to add yours). All are appreciated!